...sweet regression cruise control...

For Illusion Isn't The Opposite Of Reality

2010-01-07T22:38:00.001+11:00

In just over a week I'll be opening my first solo show at Bus Gallery in Melbourne. The show is called For Illusion Isn't The Opposite Of Reality and consists of both Down a Rabbit Hole and Performing Metamorphosis. It's the first time both bodies of work will be shown in their entirety in Australia.

The show opens January 19th from 6-8 pm and runs until February 5th.
You can find Bus Gallery on Level 1, 117 Little Lonsdale Street, in Melbourne CBD.

crossing fingers!
xx

The Clowns are coming!!!

2009-10-27T22:46:00.002+11:00

Finally, the clown!! I have planned and worked this image for a long time and it's finally here!! The initial shoot didn't work the way I wanted it to, but it answered and solved its own issues. The re-shoot was a success and I am very pleased. I shot it Sunday, so I haven't had time to do much on it yet, but here's a sneak preview. I'm so excited about this image!!

I still have to re-shoot my deer image, but that's the last one. I'm slightly concerned about it and would prefer not to re-shoot, but when you must, you must. I'm scared that in fixing the few things that didn't work, I will not be able to make the rest work as it should in a new location. We shall see.

I am now really looking forward to having some time soon to just shoot. Images that do not have to fit in or belong anywhere, that can just be what they want as they are created. Though I dread the harsh reality of non university life, I can only assume that it will bring good things. Hopefully in a few years I can do go back and do my phd. Onwards and upwards.

And the Fat lady will sing

2009-10-27T22:34:00.004+11:00

She will, but thankfully not for another couple of weeks. Which is very good news for me and the load of work I have left. Now that all my sculptures are done (minus hands, they're another story), I can start repairing them. Yep. They like breaking when I use them. I guess being dragged around just isn't their thing. Which is ok. Things break, people break, we mend, it's just how it goes. I think I actually like that they do. It somehow gives them more.. life, I guess.

So.. Final creature to this pack, The Bunny.

Painting fur... Easier said than done.

Working outside to enjoy some sunshine

Final touches, and tada... he's done. Meet Mr. Bunny. I like how his innocent appearance will contrast the images. And I'm crossing fingers that it will all work together to create something that is both humorous and horrid at the same time. A push and pull kind of effect.

Are you scared yet?

2009-10-08T14:43:00.000+11:00

When it rains, it pours. How true. The past few months have been a rollercoaster in more ways than one. A race against time and money. With only a few more weeks to go a feeling of panic is rapidly descending upon me. So much to do, so little time and absolutely no money to do it with.

To add to the mix, I just got confirmation that I have a solo show at Bus Projects in Melbourne from the 19^th of January to the 5^th of February. I should be ecstatic. I should be jumping for joy. But I am terrified. It will be the biggest thing I have ever tried to pull of as an artist. It will be my first ever solo show. It will cost a small fortune. It scares the bejesus out of me. Before that we have our final assessment for our honours degree the 16^th of November with a group show opening the following day. Stressed yet...?

The only thing I can do to keep from loosing my mind is keep working. I am looking for jobs every day to try and magically come up with the money, but so far it seems that a person with an arts degree just can’t find a job that doesn’t involve taking care of other peoples kids. Compared to trying to find a job like the ones I am applying for in Norway, it is ridiculous. Soon the Norwegian government will come knocking at my door with large bills to pay saying: So, you decided to become an artist and now you need to pay for it. Slam dunk. Check mate.

If I was religious I would probably be praying by now, but I’m not. As a non-religious, but yet spiritual person, I can only hope that some magical and mysterious force, event or fate, will pull me through.

Until then, there is much work to be done. I am hoping the rainy clouds I’m looking at will empty themselves and leave before nightfall so I can finally get some shooting done. I’ve finished making all my bunny outlines and an oversized costume; it’s all good to go. All I need now is a little luck with weather, light and model, and I’ll finally get some sleep.

So, when you don’t pray, I guess you just cross fingers.

mask making and other sticky things

2009-10-06T19:30:00.002+11:00

Grasshopper mask, half done. First layer of paper mache on the mould.

A few layers later.... change of paper to a thicker, white. Harder to sculpt, but better for texture and base colour.

First layer of white paper. Before I get to this stage, the mask mould is made from paper, then it's covered in paper mache using news paper for about three layers and then two or three layers of this white paper.

Newest edition to the gang, and also the last one for this body of work. (I'll post images of all of them later at some stage.) This one is another head piece and still has a lot of work to do. I'm attaching fabric as sort of a veil that will function both to hide the eyes of whoever is wearing it, and give mr. bunny some clothes.

This week I'll be shooting my clown image. Finally, I should say. I'm still working on the costume and such, but it is more or less ready to go... this weekend I did a few tests to work out some rabbit outlines for the image. So far, this is what I've settled on. They will be placed around the clown in the landscape.

Todays heart...II

2009-10-04T22:54:00.000+11:00

Claire Morgan's installation Fluid. Absolutely stunning. (photos by Kris Heath)

More of Claire Morgan's work here

Todays heart...

2009-09-27T14:06:00.003+10:00

I've started spending a couple of hours or more every morning 'art surfing'. It gives me time to consider the things I need to do to move further along with my work. And also allows me to just consume images, scan hundreds of them for something that catches my eye or makes me stop for some reason. I took me a while to decide what it was today. I wanted to find something new, something I hadn't seen before. Then I found this. Eye candy. Beautifully quirky.

Todays heart... Liz Wolfe. Her work is absolutely excellent and a good example of an image maker (as opposed to an image taker.) I guess you could say she's a small scale Sandy Skoglund, who is probably one of my favorite artists. Without further ado:

Liz Wolfe

Bunnies in Blood, 2004

Bunny with Candy, 2008

Butterflies on Branch, 2008 | Meat Tree, 2008

Chicken Feet with Lilies, 2004

Popsicle, 2008 | Cupcakes, 2008

Yellow Shoes and Sardines, 2004

All images © Liz Wolfe lizwolfe.com

Before bed, I heart... III

2009-09-27T00:01:00.000+10:00

Norwegian photographer Simen Johan. (I'm allowing myself some old favorites. I can indulge.) He explores relationships between real and the artificial or imagined, and works with composites. As well as allowing for dialogues with narrative and fantasy, his images also questions the authenticity of photography in the digital era. I love this guy. He rocks my socks off.

From the series "And Nothing Was To Be Trusted"

From the series "Evidence of Things Unseen"

All images © Simen Johan

simenjohan.com

In the morning, I heart...II

2009-09-26T15:41:00.000+10:00

(nevermind that it's afternoon already) Joel-Peter Witkin. What an artist. I love his work, all day, every day. I heart you, Mr. Witkin.

All images © Joel-Peter Witkin

More images can be found here and here

Before bed, I heart... II

2009-09-25T23:38:00.000+10:00

Czech photographer and artist Jan Saudek. I have been a fan of his for many years and never tire of his amazing images.

Catching the Breeze, 1984 © Jan Saudek

Czech Girl Singing, 1990 © Jan Saudek

The Saint, 1992 © Jan Saudek

All images courtesy of saudek.com

Excellent site

2009-09-25T13:45:00.007+10:00

Sweet Station is a treat of a site to do some art surfing. I've spent a greater part of my morning finding some very, very good work here. Like this:

Zachary Zavislak (this reminds me a lot of my newest image, Anathema. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who thinks sheep's heads make for good props.)

Ryan Schude

Daikichi Amano

Roberto Kusterle

Ashkan Sahihi (from Cum series. Oh yeah. A series of photographs of people who have just been ejaculated on. haha. Love it.)

sweet-station.com

In the morning, I heart...

2009-09-25T11:03:00.004+10:00

Norwegian painter Odd Nerdrum.

The seed protectors, 1987

Sleeping Twins, 1987

Man Bitten by Snake, 1992

Dawn, 1990

All images courtesy of nerdrum.com

Before bed, I heart...

2009-09-24T23:26:00.004+10:00

Jan von Holleben and his series Dreams of flying

The Superman © Jan von Holleben

The King Kong © Jan von Holleben (images from janvonholleben.com)

Shaken, not stirred...

2009-09-24T18:35:00.009+10:00

I don’t know how many souls I have.

I’ve changed at every moment.

I always feel like a stranger.

I’ve never seen or found myself.

From being so much, I have only soul.

A man who has soul has no calm.

A man who sees is just what he sees.

A man who feels is not who he is.

Attentive to what I am and see,

I become them and stop being I.

Each of my dreams and each desire

Belongs to whoever had it, not me.

I am my own landscape,

I watch myself journey -

Various, mobile, and alone.

Here where I am I can’t feel myself.

That’s why I read, as a stranger,

My being as if it were pages.

Not knowing what will come

And forgetting what has passed,

I note in the margin of my reading

What I thought I felt.

Rereading, I wonder: “Was that me?”

God knows, because he wrote it.

-Fernando Pessoa

Images © Dida 2009

Broken Thumbs

2009-09-24T17:37:00.013+10:00

These are the two first masks I did for the new body of work. Sculpture is a fairly new element to my practice, which allows me to create my own figures of 'otherness.' This came as a natural progression to the extensive use of animal symbolism in Down a Rabbit Hole. Instead of seeking out already made objects and shaping my work around it, I took matter into my own hands.

What I enjoy most about making things, whatever it may be, is the challenge of working out how to transform something that exists in fantasy into something that exists in reality. The transformation of materials, usually various types of card board and paper, folded, layered and transformed. A process that in itself carries some significant elements of unknown.

Not all the masks will make it into images for this work. I feel that they play perhaps an even bigger part as ways to continue the narrative and conversation outside the images. As three dimensional objects they occupy our space in a different way to the photograph. They have location and presence. They're the invisible made visible. They reunite the world of imagination with the physical world. ( I should add that they do so in a similar manner to the photograph, but my point here is how they occupy our space differently than the two dimensional object.)

Some masks are born from specific research, influences and/or plans. The birds came from a continued fascination with Hitchcock's The Birds and for what happens when natural things become unnatural. Birds occur frequently in films as bad omens, usually inserted into a shot before something bad happens, like in Mad Max where a bird appears just before a couple is attacked by barbaric outlaws, and again as Max’s wife runs for her life (through the symbolic woods). But in Hitchcock’s film they are the evil force that has come to prey upon us. The scary thing about these birds is that their actions remain unexplained throughout the film and leaves questions of why unanswered. The film leaves its narrative unresolved with an open ending.The resulting feeling of unease and fear is heightened because these animals share our everyday environment and have become natural monsters. They aren’t fantasy birdlike hybrids; they are seagulls, sparrows, crows and other familiar species.

The animals in my own imagery are often ambiguous, hybrid creatures. They fall in to mainly two categories: characters that are largely human, but are given various animal characteristics though props, and creature sculptures. They represent my personal reflections on a fear of the unknown in figures of the Other. I explore the contrast between the natural and the fabricated on several levels; one is by constructing my own birds and animal masks based largely on fantasy, or through the occasional use of taxidermy.

The clown was born out somewhat similar reasons, but is made with a specific yet-to-be-shot image in mind. Which hopefully will (must) happen in a week or two.

Clowns fit the distinction of a type of human/monster hybrid. They are monstrous in their bizarre appearance through a combination of stylised make-up, costume and props, and can evoke all sorts of frightening implications. Though they are characters usually associated with humour, they are also grotesque beings. Disproportionate with exaggerated features and abnormal abilities to withstand dangerous physical challenges often associated with slapstick violence, makes us wary of the clown’s duality and otherness because of the unknown it represents.

Noel Carroll writes on the link between horror and humour in films like Killer Klowns from Outer Space and Beetlejuice, examples of what he calls horror-comedies:

“[...] the recognition that horror is intimately and essentially bound up with the violation, problematization, and transgression of our categories, norms, and concepts puts us in a particularly strategic position from which explore the relation of horror to humour, because humour- is also necessarily linked to the problematization, violation, and transgression of standing categories, norms and concepts.”*

The clown is a good example of this duality. By changing certain features or behaviour it can be both a thing of comedy and of horror, like the clowns in Killer Klowns... are a perfect example of.

This is the first hand cast I made. I broke three of its fingers. Mostly because I was so damn eager to try them out. (Note to self: waiting for plaster to dry completely is a good idea.) I broke the thumb trying to get a latex mould off. Little did I know that, 1: the latex was not dry after 10 hours. 2: the plaster was not dry, which didn't help the latex. 3- my excitement got the better of me. Again. Fair enough.

Not the pose or height I'm after, but for a first try, I was pretty amazed by the details. Fingerprints, pores, everything. Alginate rules. I've got a shipment in the mail and am currently looking for a suitable container to start (again). I've put my hand in pretty much everything around the house today still with no luck. Tomorrow is another day.

*Carroll, N. (1999) ‘Horror and Humor’, The Journal of Aesthetics and Art Criticism, Vol. 57, No.2

Perfectly Normal

2009-09-22T20:24:00.006+10:00

relax, we are perfectly normal...

Ah, what is perfectly normal anyway? Are you perfectly normal? Is there even such a thing?

What is new? Where to start...

6 weeks to go before the grand finale, the end of 10 years of studying art. It's almost scary to think that it has been that long. I should probably be a lot more "academic" by now. And very smart. One would think. However, I still find myself quite often in a state of confusion. Trying to bridge the gap between the internal and the external, the introverted and the extroverted, and the never ending cycle of norwegian-english. Trying to turn thoughts and feelings into words, a coherent stream of words either written or spoken. And then trouble begins. Add some pressure and we're really rolling down a hill desperately holding on to conscious thought processes while the auto pilot switches on and off.

After this many years I am left with a feeling that maybe, somewhere along the line, I forgot to attend a class or ten on how to make sense in public. And probably one or two about the average sense of humor.

oh well.

I should get around to putting up some photos of all the other things I am making for my new body of work as well. The plaster hand adventure began last Friday. And it was a mighty expensive and not very successful start, but I am very keen to get going again. First major lesson was: Never buy alginate from the art store. no no no.... about $37 bucks for enough to cast one hand. Once, that's it. It is hard to recast with alginate, especially with something as complex as a hand. It will have to be broken away once the plaster has set.

Anyway, I did some research. The guy at the store said you could re-use it after it dried, but nothing I've read has suggested any such thing possible. But, research (and taking the time to think before acting again...) found alginate under a different brand name for about 12 bucks for the same amount online. Hallelujah. If you just purchase the one for dentists, voila! it's a lot cheaper. And it's the exact same stuff.

I have fallen in love with this stuff. I Heart Alginate. My first cast was so detailed it showed every pore on my hand, every line, every fold.... everything. This stuff is magic. I want to cast everything. I want to make a body cast. I want to cast my bellybutton. I want to cast my face. But first, I have to make 6 hands for the masks in Performing Metamorphosis. I have a feeling whatever ends up on the plates in the installation will also be casts of something.

Cynthia Plaster caster works with this stuff. She casts penises. Mostly famous. Like Jimmy Hendrix. cynthiaplastercaster.com

She's a pretty awesome lady. i saw a doco on her a few years back and have been a fan ever since.

I also love sculptor Jamie McCartney's project "Design a vagina". It is beautiful.

http://brightonbodycasting.com/design-a-vagina.php

©Jamie McCartney

oh dear. I forget that I haven't really explained this new body of work very well previously, have I? I only really started blogging again a few weeks back.

If it has waited this long, it can wait another couple of days.

Quincey Edward James Fanta Pants helping my finish my grasshopper mask.

Performing Metamorphosis

2009-09-10T21:56:00.003+10:00

Titling is always a really tricky thing. How it sounds, what it means, how it reads and so on and so forth. I still have two images that need titles for this series, but I think I've found the name for this body of work; sculptures, images and all.

Performing Metamorphosis

It refers to the performance aspect of the work as well as the transformation and hybridization of materials and characters.

Newbies currently in post production

2009-09-10T20:04:00.004+10:00

(Yet to be titled) © Dida 2009

Still working on both of these. 'Anathema' was shot last night. I just started working on it today.

Anathema © Dida 2009

Dash Snow

2009-08-29T14:13:00.004+10:00

I had never heard of Dash Snow until I was randomly 'art surfing' the other day. Dash Snow was a New York artist known for his confrontational and startlingly beautiful Polaroids of underbellies and oddities, an imaginary freak combination of Martin Parr and Nan Goldin.

His images retain a certain rawness in their act of documentation as much as they reflect an eye for the theatrical and shocking.

More images at www.tinyvices.com (portfolios)

All images © Dash Snow taken from www.tinyvices.com

i heart photograph

2009-08-29T14:07:00.002+10:00

I love this website. It is perfect for when you want to discover something new or find yourself in need of some inspiration.

http://www.iheartphotograph.blogspot.com/

Tape Projects

2009-08-29T13:57:00.002+10:00

"Tape Projects is a collective of young and emerging artists who champion provocative, temporal, audio-visual works and site-specific performances by our peers in and around Melbourne.

Tape Projects seeks to promote the wealth of talented and underrepresented young and emerging artists in Melbourne and throughout Australia, who practice media art and hybrid forms not necessarily suited to the traditional gallery format. As young and emerging artists ourselves, we believe in supporting our highly skilled community by creating new opportunities for the screening and showcasing of accomplished experimental art.

Through a programme of performances, artist talks, site-specific events, screenings and publications, Tape Projects showcases diverse temporal and cross-media works by Australian and international artists.[...]"

- http://www.tapeprojects.org/

A friend told me about this the other day. Seems like a thing worth checking out.

International Photography Awards

2009-08-28T10:19:00.003+10:00

I am proud to say that "Down a Rabbit Hole" (2008) received two honorable mentions in this years International Photography Awards.

Last years competition saw close to 23 000 entries from 124 countries around the globe.

http://www.photoawards.com/en/

New work for 2009

2009-08-28T10:08:00.006+10:00

Lusus Naturae © Dida 2009

Untitled © Dida 2009

Run, little Piggy... © Dida 2009

The Others... (working title) is a continuation of my previous body of work, Down a Rabbit Hole (2008). This series is concerned with exploring fears of the unknown in tensions created between the natural and the fabricated. These photographs are dreamscapes; they reflect on the ‘theatre of the mind’, a balance between memory and fantasy, fear and desire, the light-hearted and the grotesque.

Dawn of a New Day

2009-08-27T10:09:00.002+10:00

Time to change it up a bit, and even more importantly, update.

Stay tuned for more creative rambling.

Dida

Press Print

2008-11-04T10:58:00.009+11:00

So, here they are. My image-babies. Finalized (for printing) and sequenced. I’ve been working on the final sequencing and one thing in particular has been dominating. The size of the 7 apples and 2 legs image is similar to the other one with legs and flowers, but smaller. When making the final four, I will have in mind to make an image of the same (or similar) size to balance things out.

I don’t mind that they’ve all got slightly different heights. Of course I don’t mind I made them that way. I treat each image for it’s own purpose, if it’s needs to have a smaller crop to be just right, than it is smaller. The slight oddity this creates reflects the bizarre of the series. These images are not meant to have to fit in to any set boundaries. They are open-ended chapters to and from the imagination.

For now, they are sequenced to fit together as 6. I imagine that this will change when the final four are in place.

1-0, 1-2

I've thought about the final number of images a lot. At first I thought I wanted there to be 12 images. 12 being another interesting number (number of basic hues in he color wheel etc) I like, but decided on 10 after a night of some weird thoughts about 1's and 0's and how they are the difference between something and nothing, and the building blocks for so many things. Needless to explain all those things, there will be 10 images in the series when it's done.

final artist statement

2008-10-31T16:30:00.004+11:00

Down a Rabbit Hole

The visible world is no longer a reality and the unseen world no longer a dream.

-W.B Yeats

'Down a Rabbit Hole' constructs spaces of transition between what is
real and what is imaginary. This photographic world inhabits no
specific time or place. These photographs are eerie introspective
dreamscapes, inspired by fairytales and cinema, presented as staged
tableaux.

This body of work explores the imaginary and artifice in photography
as a borderland between inner and outer realities, and the 'theatre of
the mind' as a place of personal escape. It is as much about the
contemporary construction of images as it is about the need for
escapism and belief in the fantastical and beautifully weird.

As parts of a personal refuge these photographs contain elements of
both the familiar and the unknown through fragments of fairytales and
dreams reflecting an internal world. They have no real beginning and
no definite end. They sit in the transitional space between here and
there as a place for imagination, possibilities, and freedom from
restrictions of reality.

Dida Sundet, October 2008

Some words on inspiration

2008-10-28T15:10:00.006+11:00

Ever since I was a kid I have believed in magic. All the stories I heard, the books I read and the films I saw spoke of more than just the physical, logical and actual. And though I never did learn to fly or developed any Jedi powers I still believe in magic, and it lives in fantasy and storytelling.

This series is inspired by storytellers, artists whose work momentarily help me forget that for the most part reality is devoid of magic. Photographs that both engage in questions of the realism of the record and the fiction of the set, and films that dwell in the realm of the internal, the fantastical and the uncanny.

This work comes from a lifelong fascination with the imaginary, and later also the use of art and media in relation to it. In some ways most of the research for this project was going on long before it begun in the form it is now. One of my aims has always been to create visual escapes for myself in some way. Fragments of an internal world made tangible through the photograph. The invisible made visible. Through more recent research I have been able to find artists that deal with similar subject matter to mine. And some have been of bigger influence than others.

Simen Johan is a Norwegian photographer who creates imaginary spaces through seamlessly compositing several digital images into single photographs. His body of work Evidence of things unseen (2000-2003) focuses on childhood fantasies and role-play while questioning the objectivity and (expected) accuracy of the photograph. One image in particular lingers on in my imagination. A boy on a red tricycle pulling a tied up, crazy looking circus monkey around in an industrial area at night. Is the monkey screaming? Is he angry or happy? Does he belong to a fortune-teller? (His little hat looks like that of an old school gypsy.) Why is he tied up? Where are they going? Why is such a small boy out late at night?

His work has inspired further thought on the construction of images and what technology has done to our relation to the photograph. His open-ended stories have been the source of some enjoyable escapism. They invite me to create my own narrative from the framework set up through the photograph. They engage on several levels, emotionally and intellectually. Similar to mine, key elements in his work are layering dualities, the imaginary and bizarre, and the exploration of the crossroad between the internal and the external.

Tom Chambers is another influence as a fellow explorer of the natural and the fabricated. Many of Chambers' images combine three main elements, children, nature and animals. Each image is a photomontage to express, according to Chambers, a fleeting mood with strong emotional currents. Again it is the bizarre, dreamlike and imaginary that attracts me to this work. The unreal has become part of reality. His photographs made me start thinking of how taxidermy could solve the issues with using animals, and what this adds to the mix. Apart from a lazy, sleeping dog once, my work has naturally been unsuccessful with live animals. They generally don’t appreciate being put in the spot light.

As well as photographic and theoretical research, a lot of my inspiration comes from films, and especially those of David Lynch. His use of chiaroscuro lighting to contrast the light and the dark to express dualities, his saturated colour palette and his dark, intense, psychological dramas. Lynch creates mysterious universes that remain in part unexplained, which makes every viewing different.

These artists, amongst others, have influenced me to think of ways to construct narrative photographs that visualize a borderland of inner and outer realities. Hybrids of the natural and the fabricated.

Overall it is their storytelling that inspire me the most. Spellbinding tales where the familiar meets the mysterious and magical. Invented melodramas exploring the unknown.

WebSites

http://www.simenjohan.com/

http://www.tomchambersphoto.com/

http://www.davidlynch.com/

Curtain close

2008-10-27T16:10:00.005+11:00

To my own surprise and joy, I finished all my prints earlier last week. And to me, they look amazing. I love the paper they're printed on (Hahnemuhle Photo Rag Peal) even if it is a somewhat difficult paper to handle. The blacks are lush and the colours... the colours are beautiful. All in all it's been a somewhat costly affair on a tight budget, but I would never have let anyone else print them. Creating the print is just as important to me as creating the image. After all, they are not complete before they are printed and become objects.

I would still like to do 4 more images to get to a total of 10 after I finish this week. I still shoot, even if it's sometimes just to keep refining the technique or.. well, because it's what I love to do. There just haven't been time to get to 10 before this bulk is finished.

I shot this image in Taradale a couple of weekends back. I was just playing around to satisfy a creative itch I was having a late night after a birthday party. I love this shot, but it has potential of becoming an even better one. The feet are mine, and are just there to add another element to the composition. I'll be going back in a couple of weeks to do a re-shoot and do a different set up where I don't have to use myself. It's all one exposure with very little post.

It belongs in a different story than this one. I would like to use a young girl and a somewhat different perspective. I think. We'll see when the time comes.

Still to finalize before thursday are the sequencing of the images as they sit together now, some sort of background to hang them on, some writing and a whole lot of thinking. I expect the nerves to keep building as it all comes to a close. 3 amazing years, a degree in Fine Art Photography and a few bodies of work. Nice.

THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME

2008-10-20T19:12:00.003+11:00

The final stages of this project have set in. Last review clarified a few things and somewhat changed others.

Down The becomes Down a

I'm changing the title to 'Down a Rabbit Hole'. Referring to it as the Rabbit Hole makes it seem like there's only one rabbit hole when there in fact is probably more than I can ever imagine. I could use the in the sense that it is my rabbit hole, but I think there might be more than one there as well. The owls are not what they seem...

Kill your darlings

After I test printed most of the images and started putting them all together as objects, a few things changed. Though I like them all in their own way, not all of them belong in this series and end up weakening the work as a whole. So there are now 6 instead of 9 images (for now. My aim is to make 4 more). The images cut are two from first semester, the brick and skull characters, and the new portrait of a woman with skull. The main reason for cutting them is that they lack the general look of the others. Signs of nature (as nature is reality), the colour palette and space the other images occupy. The painting in these images have bigger strokes and covers a significantly larger area in each one. The 6 I am using are made up of very specifically lit areas that form the fictional space and main composition of the image. They contain elements of both worlds, the natural and real and the artificial and imaginary.

Bi-lingually speaking...

Re-writing my artist statement, once again... And adding another separate paragraph on the influences that helped me create the work. The statement itself is coming together nicely. As you would expect after having written it so many times, I guess. There are still some parts I haven't quite figured out how to resolve to my own satisfaction, but I expect it will be done by the end of this week in good time for final review next week.

Bye, bye borders...

My wits finally caught up with me and I have dropped the 5cm black borders around the images. Others have told me before, I know, but I come to things in my own time for my own reasons. It just seemed somewhat redundant when they will be hung against a dark wall anyway, or preferably a bit out from the wall to be exact. I'm looking into having them mounted on foam core with some sort of backing that will set them about 5-10 cm out from the wall.

The Story of the Fairy Tale

2008-09-23T18:20:00.011+10:00

I came across this old story at the SurLaLune Fairytales site some time ago while researching elements of classical storytelling. It's written in 1905 by Carl Ewald, a danish writer I had never heard of before. It's a charming little thing I thought I might share.

ONCE upon a time, ever so many years ago, Truth suddenly vanished from out of the world.

When people perceived this, they were greatly alarmed and at once sent five wise men in search of Truth. They set out, one in this direction and one in that, all plentifully equipped with traveling expenses and good intentions. They sought for ten long years. Then they returned, each separately. While still at a distance, they waved their hats and shouted that they had found Truth.

The first stepped forward and declared that Truth was Science. He was not able to finish his report, however; for before he had done, another thrust him aside and shouted that that was a lie, that Truth was Theology and that he had found it. Now while these two were at loggerheads--for the Science man replied to the attack vigorously--there came a third and said, in beautiful words, that Love was Truth, without a doubt. Then came the fourth and stated, quite curtly, that he had Truth in his pocket, that it was Gold, and that all the rest was childish nonsense. At last came the fifth. He could not stand on his legs, gave a gurgling laugh, and said that Truth was Wine. He had found Truth in Wine, after looking everywhere.

Then the five wise men began to fight, and they pummeled one another so lustily that it was horrible to see. Science had its head broken, and Love was so greatly ill-treated that it had to change its clothes before it could show itself again in respectable society. Gold was so thoroughly stripped of every covering that people felt awkward about knowing it; and the bottle broke and Wine flowed away into the mud. But Theology came off worst of all: everybody had a blow at it and it received such a blasting that it became the laughingstock of all beholders.

And people took sides, some with this one and some with that, and they shouted so loud that they could neither see nor hear for the din. But far away, at the extreme end of the earth, sat a few and mourned because they thought that Truth had gone to pieces and would never be made whole again.

Now as they sat there, a little girl came running up and said that she had found Truth. If they would just come with her--it was not very far--Truth was sitting in the midst of the world, in a green meadow.

Then there came a pause in the fighting, for the little girl looked so very sweet. First one went with her; then another; and ever more... At last, they were all in the meadow and there discovered a figure the like of which they had never seen before. There was no distinguishing whether it was a man or a woman, an adult or a child. Its forehead was pure as that of one who knows no sin; its eyes deep and serious as those of one who has read into the heart of the whole world. Its mouth opened with the brightest smile and then quivered with a sadness greater than any could describe. Its hand was soft as a mother's and strong as the hand of a king; its foot trod the earth firmly, yet crushed not a flower. And then the figure had large, soft wings, like the birds that fly at night.

Now at they stood there and stared, the figure drew itself erect and cried, in a voice that sounded like bells ringing:

"I am Truth!"

"It's a Fairy Tale!" said Science.

"It's a Fairy Tale!" cried Theology and Love and Gold and Wine.

Then the five wise men and their followers went away, and they continued to fight until the world was shaken to its center.

But a few old and weary men and a few young men with ardent and eager souls and many women and thousands of children with great wide eyes: these remained in the meadow where the Fairy Tale was.

Carl Ewald, "The Story of the Fairy Tale" (1905)

Translated by Alexander Teixeira de Mattos. The story is included in Spells of Enchantment: The Wondrous Fairy Tales of Western Culture, edited by Jack Zipes.

Available: http://www.surlalunefairytales.com/introduction/ftstory.html

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT *

2008-09-21T01:35:00.003+10:00

Three days to assemble what always seems to contain a whole lot of fragmented thoughts and nerves of doubt and confusion. This always happens at crunch time, some kind of weird stage-fright. Rewriting, reworking, rethinking. How, what, when, where, and why. Only a few more weeks after this to pull it all together. And at this point, I must say it all feels very daunting and quietly exciting. I love making this work. It consumes many hours of many days, and I still don't wake up and see the point where I want it to stop, only things I wish to develop and explore.

Harold, a Skull and a Rummaging Roo...

So, about a week or two ago we went up the country to Taradale to do a weekend of shooting. If it's cold in Melbourne, it's freezing up there. We went to see a couple of friends who live in the midst of the old gold-mining country. Across the road from their house are some woods with old mining holes, old mining gear, and enough trees and branches to confuse anyone wandering around in the pitch black of night. We've been to Taradale in the summer, but never ventured into the snake pits I believe those woods to be at that time. So in cover of the cold, five layers of clothing and adventurous spirits we spent two nights outside discovering a world that lives right behind the darkness.

The first night was by far the most successful. We managed to get two shots that I'm happy with, and that presents a new and slightly different mood to some of the others. Lately I have noticed that the shots are becoming darker, but not without a sense of humor.

(Rummaging Roo (working title), work in progress, © Dida 2008)

The first one, which has the working title of Rummaging Roo (as of now all the images in the series are untitled and will most likely stay that way), almost came to by itself. We came across a site in a patch of trees with a fallen tent (barely visible behind the roo), old bottles, cans and shoes left by miners way back when combined with some more recent stuff. I was told later that a girl who used to live in my friends house had gathered it all from the woods, and that it was her secret place we had found, left long ago to the mercy of the harsh bush weather. I tried not to change the site too much, but had to spread some of the stuff around that the girl had placed in and around an old milk crate just to create a little more sense of chaos. I completely fell in love with the authenticity of these old things left there and could almost sense both the miners and the girl wandering the woods with us.

The shot was done fairly quickly. I say fairly because none of my shot can be labelled quick, but this one almost came by itself. I decided to go with the roo for a few reasons. One, we were right in roo country, and I've grown tired of the bunnies for now. Having shot it once or twice with the mask on, I decided to move it so that the face underneath became partly visible. The mask then looks directly at us whereas the man is focused on the stuff in the crate. A lot of my work contains things pointing to things out of order. Hints that can guide or confuse, a cross-section of the 'here 'and the 'there', pointing to the journey back and forth from the interior to the exterior, the borderland of reality and fantasy.

The shot, as of now, is made up of two main exposures. One is processed two different ways and then combined with a second exposure to make the final image. I wasn't all that happy with the trees in the shots I did with the roo, and ended up replacing it with one I did of just the site. Because the light is so erratic it's fairly easy to combine several exposures and almost impossible to say where one ends and the other beings.

The man in the background came spontaneously. I didn't really think he would work, but as I work on it, he's making more and more sense. He's disruptive and confusing, slightly intimidating almost. His blue is a welcome spurt of colour within all the brown, yellow and green. This shot still has a lot of work to be done, but looks promising.

(Still-life of Bird & Skull (working title), work in progress, © Dida 2008)

This shot of a bird and a skull came almost out of nowhere. A friend had kindly lent me Harold, the taxidermy bird, which I was very excited about. I hadn't planned much not having seen the woods before other than deciding on props to bring, so I decided to set one up just to see how good, old Harold would look in a photograph. And Harold, never the one to disappoint, did extremely well pecking away at a skull we have seen before (in the shot of the bunnies in the grass).

I found a tree, or part of one at least, and hung the mask so that it would face Harold and placed him leaning into its mouth. The branch behind the mask looks like it could be holding it which I like to think might be someone just outside the image. There is something slightly disturbing about this shot I can't quite put my finger on. It's all shot in one exposure, which is then processed differently for some segments of the image. This one also has lots of work left on it, but is definitely a keeper. As a still-life it stands out from the others, adding something else to the mix. I'm thinking Harold will re-appear down the track, or should I say Rabbit Hole...

I'm a bit apprehensive in 'explaining' the shots yet. Sometimes they speak of one thing, sometimes of others as I work on them. I am becoming more and more content with the balance of light and dark in the overall series, not only just through the use of light painting, but also through the variation of mood in the individual images.

With 9 images as of now, I have a lot of figuring out to do on the overall sequencing. Do I let it go 'the classical' way with an overall narrative, or do I put it together in a way that will throw people off and leave them a bit uncomfortable? And if so, how do I then do that? I am leaning more and more to the latter way (not surprisingly perhaps) thinking I might not want you to feel all that comfortable. Familiar in some ways perhaps, but not quite at ease.

Still, with much to do and little time, moving forward.

*Title of artwork by Martin Creed

Falling inwards

2008-09-18T01:11:00.001+10:00

The year is nearing its end and the two final reviews are lurking near the door. First review of this semester went beyond expectations and helped me figure out some of what my work represents and the how's and why's I do it. I found myself to be an analyst in denial...

The semester so far, in regards to creating new work, has proven easier said than done. Many shoots cancelled and poor organization skills on my own behalf have put pressure on the final remaining weeks. Some images have had to be re-shot, some never made it out of the sketchbook and some simply don't work in context with the others.

(7 Apples 2 Legs, New edit, ©Dida 2008)

As of now there are many pieces on the table that need to be put together or put aside. I am currently doing the post on a few images and did some test prints this week, which will hopefully help 'paint the bigger picture'. In the works is still the image of the apples. I did a reshoot, but missed a bit on the angle, and ended up with a shot that said something completely different than the initial one. So, I went back and did the post again, this time adding another part of one exposure to a part of the original image and adding a new element, the barely visible key.

A few other newbies are also in the post works.

(Portrait w/ skull, work in progress, ©Dida 2008)

This portrait of a woman with feathers and a skull came out of an idea for another shot I didn't get to do during one shoot. I shot the image several times with different amounts of light, exposures and angles of lighting, and though this shot is a lot softer and out of focus than the others it still has something about it I like. As of now it sits in between the two skulls and brick images from last semester. As a triptych kind of thing they seem to be working together.

I have started thinking about sequencing a whole lot more now that I have about 9 images finished or still in progress. I don't know if they will all make the final cut, but it has been good to try and work out the order and the overall narrative look to some extent.

There are still many more images I would like to do, but I am feeling the pressure of there being less and less time left. I spent a fair few hours yesterday being more or less frustrated soft proofing and test printing four images, some more successful than others. To judge the outcome of what will happen when the inks hit the paper is hard. Everything is harder when paper competes with a light box (the deceiving computer screen) in terms of luminosity. But the outcome is so much more rewarding when you get it right. My test prints aren't there yet, but with a little fine tuning and polishing here and there, I think they will be.

As usual I find the statement a nightmare to write even having written it a few times now. I am still not completely comfortable with the reading of it and can't quite decide on the level for personal angle. I've done some new research but having done this project over some time now it has come to a natural crawl. I came across Image and Imagination (2005) edited by Martha Langford thinking it would be a gem of a read, but ended up skimming most of it without finding all that much of interest. If not much else, the introduction helped fuel some thoughts and confuse others, as per usual.

I've also had a look at At the edge of the Light, Thoughts on Photography, & Photographers, on Talent and Genius (2003) by David Travis and found the chapter ' The Plot Thickens Everything, Photography and the need for narrative' (p.80-96) interesting.

What narrative does better than any other medium of expression is to directly address the question of what we think we know – not about being particles of the matter-of-fact world or elements of a logical puzzle, but rather about being human. (p.95)

This one still has me thinking...

Another Semester, Another Review- 150 word statement

2008-08-14T00:08:00.000+10:00

First review is tomorrow, and I should most likely be in bed sleeping than staring at the same screen I've been staring at for the past 14 hours.

Anyway... For this one we have to present a 150 word statement that support the conceptual basis of the work and a visual interrogation of two images (given verbally).

Here is my crack at a 150 word statement to my somewhat creative chaos. (Not counting title, a work in progress or signature. I claim those for free.)

'DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE'

With ‘Down The Rabbit Hole’ I explore the imaginary and artifice in photography. I am interested in how we use fantasy to comprehend experience and emotions: the lost dreams we cling to, our hopes, fears and desires.

While the imaginary and subconscious offers us an escape from ‘the Real’, it also presents another understanding of it. Fantasy knows no boundaries, it offers a space to render experience in another manner than within the restrictions of realism, and can fulfil any secret desire, or horrific nightmare. These photographs are eerie introspective dreamscapes, drawing inspiration from fairytales and cinema, presented as staged tableaux.

I am also interested in using digital photography as a portal to my imagination, to a place where everything is as real as I want it to be. As a result my images become constructed tales that can only continue to exist through photographs.

A work in progress

Dida, August 2008

A visual Interrogation Part 1 - the Bunnies...

2008-08-13T23:50:00.000+10:00

So... I'm quite new to expressing my images in such detail so bare with me in the exploration.

This is a staged, exterior night shot of two half naked bunny-men lying in the grass. It is shot at night due to lighting techniques and the association I have with night as a time for fairy tales, escapism, dreams and fantasy. It is a time when we reflect upon the day and my senses are change. My perception of the world is quite different at night and I am more open to the endless possibilities that exist, and therefore open my mind to fantasy easier than within the boundaries and restrictions of daylight and ‘the real world’.

My images are shot outside to give them more visual (and imaginary) space. Reality, here in the form of grass and parkland, create a backdrop of realism to what is a fabricated scene of fantasy. This enhances the artificial/ fictional aspect of the main subject, the bunnies. I think of this image as the first scene of a play or a film. The spotlight illuminates the scene and our characters emerge from the darkness.

The image is surrounded and held by a thick, black frame. This represents the darkness of the mind in a way. You close your eyes and out of that initial darkness images appear. It represents a possible beginning, middle or end. When the whole series is put together the black framing will also help maintain a visual flow between the different images. The images themselves are so dark that I feel they need ‘protection’ against the hard brutality of a white wall. Black evokes a sense of potential and possibility; it is the color of mystery and the unknown/ unseen.

The light is painted on with warm toned torches. This way of lighting is similar in look to that of theatre, cinema, and somewhat painting. It challenges the time within the photograph (as it is obviously not a moment but rather a patch of time) and enhances the ‘unreal’ as the light comes from multiple angels in spots across the image. It looks very different to that of a ‘normal’ night scene. The duality light - dark represents where the conscious meets the unconscious, where fantasy meets reality. Out of darkness and the unknown, comes creation and life. Fantasy is after all also a form of recreation.

The bunny characters are two half-naked men wearing bunny ears and skeleton masks sitting in the grass. Their skin is almost glowing and the spotlight appears to lift them from the grass. Their pose is one of curiosity and perhaps surprise, as if caught off guard. These characters represent lust and desire as well as referencing a mix of the classical rabbit in ‘Alice’ and the evil bunny, Frank, in ‘Donnie Darko’. They extend an invitation to follow. Will you follow the rabbit into the dark?

Their skeleton masks points to a more sinister layer within the image, our vulnerability to the unknown and the fragility of emotions. The masks keep the bunnies (men) suspended between fact and fiction, in the borderland of imagination and reality. Their number, 2, further reflects a duality, plus-minus; feminine-masculine; it symbolically represents imagination, dreams, exchanges, communication and balance.

Behind the bunnies are a bunch of illuminated sticks. These represent the rabbit hole. It also helps aid the composition and the sticks add ‘drama’ to the image. In front of the sticks are the shadows of my legs. I left this in the image because I like how it refers back to the creation of the image and again the patch of time it takes to capture and create it. This is an illusion, and the legs are a reminder of that. What you see has been carefully created; it is an artifice, someone’s vision aka my vision. The legs become ‘the third’ of the image. The number 3 deals with magic and expression. It also represents time in past, present and future.

The colors of the image are vivid. The green grass, the sexual pink ears and skin tones. Green represents both the natural, and fresh as well as envy. The pink is sexually charged (hence the naked skin), and adds a feminie aspect to the masculinity of the male bodies.

The duality light – dark points to the borderland reality – fantasy. It blurs the edges and allows us to dream. The construction of the image does not hold restrictions of reality, but allows a meeting on my own terms. I have a feeling of choice. I can choose to indulge or not. I can dream, I’m allowed to imagine unrealistic things of magic and places of no boundaries.

In post-production this image is enhanced digitally by layering different elements. Post-production allows me to complete my vision and create this ‘looking glass’ to my imagination. Digital photography and manipulation allows flexibility in the relation to photography’s representation of the real and the unreal.

7 apples and 2 legs... a visual interrogation Part 2...

2008-08-13T23:31:00.000+10:00

So... here is the initial interrogation of this image. I'm re-shooting it saturday (hopefully) and I'm sure some things will change underway, but as I said... Initial Interrogation.

7 Apples, 2 legs

This image is an initial sketch for what I imagine will be the second image of the series (along with a third image to juxtapose the second, more on that later). This is another staged exterior of 7 apples on the ground and a pair of legs. The legs are used instead of a body (as I was shooting myself it was the only part I could get to and still keep the stillness of the image). This image refers back to stories such as ‘Snowhite’ and ‘the Original Sin of Eve’, but also to desire, fertility and creation.

The legs represent innocence, femininity and bodily desire. They are what allows us to step in or out something. The crude sock marks reminds us of the act of undressing, of scarring and of reality. The legs are metaphorically those of Snowhite or Eve, not having eaten the apple yet, but not as picture-perfect, pointing back to the reality of beauty and reality in itself. The implied movement hints towards a yet-to-be-seen action. Stepping forward and picking up the apple, perhaps taking a bite.

The red of the apples represents passion and possibility. They are carriers of seeds with the potential for new growth. There are 7 apples in the image. The number 7 is a magical number, especially in fairytales. There were 7 dwarfs; there are 7 colors in the rainbow, 7 chacras, 7 seas, and 7 deadly sins... The number 7 is meant to be an activator of imagination.

The background for the image is soil and the base of a tree with a snake-like branch in the back and under one of the feet. (I will enhance this in the re-shoot.) The earth represents the beginning and the end. It is fertile and has the potential for growth. The branch in the background is a meant to be read as the snake, a disturbance or threat if you will.

In post-production I have layered several exposures to compile the final image. I have selected areas of the other exposures where the light was to my liking and digitally sewn it together.

In re-shooting this image I would like to try adding a partially see-trough body over the apples instead of the legs. I would also like to superimpose a lock on one of the apples. The apple then presenting itself as another gateway to the imaginary. This, when juxtaposed with the image of a key, will present new readings and dualities. The body (or legs if I decide to keep them) will become not only a reference to ‘Snowhite’ and ‘Eve’, but will link it back to ‘Alice’, the rabbits, and the entering of another world. The femininity of this image will juxtapose the masculinity of the key.

Ham Wrapped Christmas Turkey...

2008-08-04T14:07:00.001+10:00

So... Saturday brought the first attempt to do another shoot since 'the big break'. I wish I could say it was all the love and glory it usually is.

I had decided to do things inside since it was really cold and I was wrapping a friend in ham and wanted him to be as comfortable as possible. (Comfort not really being applicable when you're covered in meat in a homemade heap of trash.) I covered the floor in my workspace to make it look like rubbish and then placed my friend in it, wrapped him in ham, spaghetti and some other (probably not so pleasant) things. The idea for the shoot was seemingly simple. Finding the right angle to do it and not reveal the room around us was not.

So far I've only glanced at the images a few times, but enough to say that it didn't work the way I intended it to. The idea is there, and I believe it is a good one, but things don't always work out first time around.

The light works very different inside opposed to outside. It bounces off the walls and shorten exposure times considerably. (Sounds good, but not when you do what I do.) Also the quality and temperature of the light look and feel very different. So, technically speaking interior shoots are probably not worth spending too much time on again unless necessary.

Another few things became clear to me after we finished. We did a very short session, the shortest ever I think, and in that time I understood just how important my own wellbeing and comfort is to the success of the shoot. All of us were tired and not giving it half the energy we usually do, but there were also clear distractions that took the focus away from what was happening. All in all I think it held a few very important lessons for me in particular in regards to how I work best and what circumstances to avoid in the future.

It's just not as simple as pointing the camera and the light at someone wearing a costume and think it will take you somewhere magical. We have to create this magic. We have to believe in it, to want it. I have to inspire my models to make them want to take me there, perhaps even without knowing what it is they're doing, and they have to inspire my vision of the place we go to. They externalise the experience and help me render that world tangible through their presence in the photograph. If we are not ok ourselves, we will not get there.

All in all I would say it was a lesson well learned. However, it does put me in a bit of tight spot for first round of assessments. It is not that the images do not work at all, because a couple of them do in some ways, but it is how far they are from where I wanted them to be that concerns me the most. It is hard to get back on the horse. I want to, and I'm still very excited about this project, but I continue to find obstacles placed around me that I have no or little control over that must be overcome.

Next time we'll nail it. I know we will.

We all float around in here...

2008-08-01T18:08:00.001+10:00

The body, lady, is like a house: it don't go anywhere; but the spirit, lady, is like an automobile: always on the move, always.

F. O'Connor

(from The Life You Save May Be Your Own)

There are always many levels to creating a piece of work that interest me: technical, theoretical, conceptual, philosophical and so on. My need for creating work is fuelled by a need for exploration and understanding through art. To reflect upon the perplexities of the mind and the world, the self and the other, of escapism, of reality and fiction, of memory and the pieces that fit (or don't fit) between.

With analogue photography the negative anchors the subject of the image to an actual occurrence. What is seen is rooted to a more certain degree in reality, it was. The digital image has no such negative. It is malleable and invites to a constant readjustment and re-evaluation of reality and the photographic 'moment'.

While the experience of the imaginary offers us an escape from 'the Real', it also offers us another path to the understanding of it. Fantasy is a link and a platform to render experience in another manner than within the restrictions of 'reality', the imaginary abides by no pure boundaries of logic and reason. These are separate, but linked worlds, and I reside in one no more than the other.

Computers have given photography the freedom of painting, whereby photographs can truly represent the ideas of their creators and not merely render what already exists.

-Simen Johan

This work explores the inwardness of a subject that lies beyond its external structure, a crossroad of inner and outer reality. It attempts to display the secret garden of things unseen, fragments of fairy tales reflecting an internal world, narrative moments with no real beginning and no definite end. "Fairy tales are for kids". Not an unknown statement, but far from what I believe. I believe it is a basic human need to escape into fantasy, if so only to better comprehend social reality. Adults make use of the fairy tale as much as children do. We watch films, read fiction, follow TV series and daydream. Perhaps our need for escapism is even greater than that of children as we are limited by having to conform to what is perceived to be 'normal' for adults.

In the whole realm of poetry no domain is so boundless as the fairy tale. It reaches from the blood-drenched graves of antiquity to the pious legends of a child's picture book; it takes in the poetry of the people and the poetry of the artist.

-H.C Andersen

I approach the making new work in a variety of ways. Some images are constructed by researching elements of interest and developing 'the idea', others appear from dreams or while reflecting upon the 'core structure' (former research etc) of an idea, and at other times, and this happens quite often, a location inspires a 'vision' and results in the creation of a site specific installation which is then photographed in one or more parts.

Digital photography allows me the freedom to control every element and my use of light painting allows me to manually apply light from any angel I see fit. It becomes a seductive balance of light and dark. The darkness represents the mind and the undercurrent depths of imagination. Light becomes the tool of exploration, like a spot on a theatre stage, carefully revealing only what you are meant to see. Applying it by hand, as if painting a canvas, gives it a sense of mystery and enhances the aspect of that 'other place'. Through photography I embody a fantasy world, the images becoming a gateway, keys to unlocking the unknown.

By keeping my characters mostly in masks they become part of the visual myth and their representation is suspended somewhere between fact and fiction. As the image as a whole, they contain traces and elements of 'real', but the things you see in the photograph never existed as you see them. Not in this reality anyway.

Everything we are allowed to approach by way of reality remains rooted in fantasy.

-J. Lacan

Thoughts to be continued...

Return From The Glitch

2008-07-25T16:10:00.001+10:00

Previously in my world:

Final review went well without any major freak-outs. Results were good and four days after I was on my way back to Norway for a month. Norway was... a little bit of everything. Creatively frustrating since I had access to some sweet equipment and it was too light out all night to do anything. Night-time is pretty much daytime in summer, and I had somehow 'conveniently' forgot all that. This and the fact that going back for such a short period, everything really becomes a marathon, a race against time or with time, whatever end you prefer to see it from. All the magnificent scenery and Norwegian magic had to go uncaptured in relation to this series of work. It was an unwanted break in regards to my work, but a very much needed one (despite the fact that a marathon rarely offers any breaks).

Second semester commenced this week and it is now a manner of waking up the old machinery and getting back on the horse. In my defence, I did attempt to do a shoot two days after returning, only to be completely wiped out by jetlag and bad, new torches. Aka nothing came of it. But in preparation for that shoot I did purchase a couple of new masks for some new characters. I guess all in all, I did realize a few important things along the way even if the results are not there yet. In regards to the torches, they have to have a warm toned light and not be too strong. If the light is too strong it makes detailed painting impossible without leaving light streaks, and if I move further away it spills light everywhere. So now it's back to my cheap and unreliable, but perfects for this, torches once I can buy a whole heap of them.

Another thing that will be of greater importance this semester are the dynamics of the composition in the images. I'm currently looking at Guy Bourdin's work again to find some inspiration. Shoots have to be more carefully planned this time around and also become a lot less expensive as the costs have gone far beyond affordability.

New shoot is being planned for next week. It will most likely not be the reshoot from last time yet (lack of manpower), but at this point the importance is on getting back into it and creating more new work. Next review is in two weeks time and as of now I have no new images, but plenty of ideas floating around...

Making Love to Inks and Fibers

2008-06-09T22:59:00.001+10:00

I've now finished printing three images for final review in a couple of days. During the course of making the images I tend to forget how much I enjoy printing on the Epson 9800.

As nerve wrecking as I find the process of soft proofing and testing, always aiming for a level of perfection, hoping that what comes out translates everything put in, I fall in love with every print that comes out, one step closer to its predetermined life as a precious object of own creation. Not all prints engage on such a level, some become a verification of a pre-existing feeling of lacking in quality, or a statement of changes that need to be made. Numbers translated into an image on a screen tell many lies that can only be seen when rendered on paper, and depending on which paper they're printed on, they will have different qualities.

The Hahnemuhle Photo Rag Pearl is a beautiful paper. It's a very thick with some texture and a slight warm tone to it. The dark tones came out quite nicely with a hint to future shoots to light certain areas with concern to printing. I also realized the importance of color in regards to putting the final series together. As of now it is hard to see how exactly I'll fit the yellow-brown skeletons with the bright pink and greens of the bunnies. I'm sure there is a bridge in there somewhere yet to be found, but am also keeping in mind that not all images will end up in the final series.

The paper upholds the luminosity surprisingly well. I didn't expect the images to 'pop' out as much as they do. They look amazing, if I may say so myself. The darkness of the images didn't make them look as flat as I feared they would once printed, but rather encapsulates them in an air of mystery, and to me, further enhances the sense of seeing an 'other' place.

The final three images so far are 40 cm wide including five cm black borders on each side with various heights. The black borders compliment the darkness of the images and bring them together as a whole. The wide borders serve to create a certain distance between the world within the image and the world outside.

Further, I have decided, due to lack of time, to hold off on purchasing wallpaper for the background. I've had a quick look, but have yet to find one that hits the spot. Again there is no point settling for less, so as of now I have only purchased three sheets of black paper with a black, velvet-like pattern to simulate the kind of look I'm after. If this will look remotely like I want it to is yet to be found out.

For hanging, since the prints for this review will not be mounted, I've decided to cut strips of acetate paper and tape them to the back of the prints to pin in. This way I'll avoid annoying pin marks in the prints later. Due to the thickness of the paper they have already got a few dents from printing and trimming, so I'll need to keep them as clean and safe as possible.

These are not pictures. These are photographic dreamscapes, precious objects carefully crafted to reflect the borderland from which they came. They are not snapped or stolen, and their roles are not as decisive moments. These images are dreamed, staged, captured, controlled and created. They are my imaginary visions, pieces of an unknown 'home', and they can only continue to exist through photographs.

The photographs offer a key to the magic of imagination, the universal dream of liberation from the constraints of the physical body into the uncanny. -K.A Edwards

I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness*

2008-06-09T15:20:00.000+10:00

This is another of the images from the last shoot. The main compositional elements are working well, but there are issues in the lighting/painting I would like to further resolve, as well as some changes to poses and costumes.

I don't mind that all the characters are of a less 'absurd' nature, but would like to tie one in as the cleaner in the background to maintain some elements from previous images. His bright, white mask is an issue as it becomes a very obvious focal point within the image, and his character is not as innocent as he seems. At this point I am leaning towards making him a skeleton yet keeping him more or less as he is. The effect of the vacuum hose is a keeper, as well is his direct communication with us.

The character on the ground is pretty much perfect. He reminds me of something out of a Caravaggio, and I am never quite sure whether he is getting up or falling down. In this section of the image I would like more shadows and contrasts around the walnuts, they are just a little too flat as is.

I love the character of the cheeky, not-so-desperate housewife. Unfortunately the very long exposure time left her looking a lot softer than her attitude (and my will) dictates. It's basically just about 'freezing' her (which is a lot harder than you might think considering the light is painted on), but when we set this up again I want to make better use of her as whole. Costume, pose, cigarette, drink, clothes draped and hanging around her, the whole shebang.

Another thing to consider would be to include the sky above them.

Indeed.

*name of Austin band we listened to that night. Fantastic name for a band, fantastic name for anything.

Dream troopers

2008-06-02T22:56:00.001+10:00

Another venture into the creative and imaginary kingdom a few days back. It was another ride in the hands of fate, or luck (or lack thereof) on the coldest of nights so far. Despite the freezing cold, raw air and wet ground we set out to find the rabbit hole.

About three test shots into it my main light source fails. It does not sink into a 'I-have-no-power' sleep, but dies abruptly as things are starting to shape up.

For various reasons the other lights were not suitable under the circumstances. In a bleak hope of finding a similar one hiding in one of my boxes of magic, we returned home from location cold and bewildered. Alas no such light was found, but refusing to abandon the shoot without trying alternatives, we opened another bottle of red and slipped into the dark corners of the courtyard.

For a night determined to be a royal pain in the rear end region of my body, it won the initial battle, but lost the war. My creative group of nocturnal creatures now counts another amazing being. These people continue to astonish and inspire me with their enthusiasm and invaluable input. I have never photographed anyone before who had such an interest and understanding of what I am trying to accomplish as these people do. They are keys to locks in my house, to toys in my basement.

The images require a re-shoot mainly due to light, but the ideas and compositions were good, and will result in a more dynamic visual range once resolved. In other words, we accomplished what I was aiming to test in regards to that. All was indeed not lost. I like the images, but know that I can re-stage and re-light them so much better. I do not believe in settling for less. It is worth the wait to make them rise to their full potential. It constitutes what I, in regards to such things, like to call a luxury problem. :)

Another couple of characters emerged and future shoots are looking very promising. I am very happy with the journey so far and believe the final series will be everything I want it to be. I can't wait to continue once final assessment is over.

In preparation for that I am now focusing on the final post-production on a couple of images, and will start printing the next few days. I will now be printing on the Hahnemuhle Photo Rag Pearl. This is a new paper to me, but it's supposed to have similar warm tones to the Crane Silver Rag. I am anxious to see how my blacks and overall dark tones transfer as well as how much luminosity is retained on paper.

The test prints I did on Ilford Gold Fibre Silk looked promising, but I have decided to go up in size to approximately 30cm width + borders which is somewhat larger than the tests. I am also considering abandoning the 'fuzzy' edges around the frame of the image. Where there are higher contrasts on the edge it's hard to get a smooth transition between light and dark tones.

As well as printing I am considering potential backgrounds for the images. I don't want them displayed on a white wall and the alternatives so far seem to be black or some kind of dark, patterned wallpaper. I would also like them to be mounted and hung out from the wall, but as of now, this is way over budget.

(New images to come very soon... in post-production now.)

Borderline Obsessive Illusionist

2008-05-14T22:09:00.001+10:00

I'm obsessed by Art

–Nikos Pantazis

So am I to a point. I love Art, as the ultimate symbol of Imagination, of escapism and of creative thinking. Of experience, of feelings and profound beauty. I love how it does not discriminate aesthetics, it is everything and nothing, whatever you want it to be. I love the way it consumes and often becomes the very first and last thought of the day. Tickles, seduces, suffocates and releases. It makes me think of Aristotle's theories of catharsis and hedone, the purging and release of emotions through the experience of art (which also applies to the act of creation for the artist).

We shall not cease from exploration,

and the end of all our exploring

will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

-T. S. Eliot

These days I find myself consumed with figuring out concepts of embodiment and the portrayal of the body in photography for an essay in the Art history subject The Body In Art and Thought: Deep Genealogies.

How does staged photographic representation of the body convey ideas of identity/persona, sexuality and relationship to photographer/viewer?

I find myself lost in the jungle of semiotics and I keep coming back to the conclusion that everything is borderland these days. Are we certain of anything in regards to what we see? Do we even know if the emotional response to an image is ours and not orchestrated by the artist? Is it ever just one or the other?

Do things exist the way we 'see' them or are we simply encoded to see them in certain ways?

I came across the website Photoshop Disasters, or it's a blog really, and nerd that I am, found it most amusing. These advertisements are out there. You've probably seen one or more of them, but you, as I, have most likely not really noticed what was actually there. Our brains have become so accustomed to certain things that it is only by reflecting upon them, or having some things pointed out, they reveal another layer of 'truth'. Advertising and Cinema being the prime examples, the Queen Bees of deceitful illusion.

Take a look at http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/

Enjoy.

Picking Minds When It Gets Scary

2008-05-07T21:37:00.001+10:00

(artist statement from review 2)

Down The Rabbit Hole

The visible world is no longer a reality and the unseen world no longer a dream.

– W.B. Yeats [1]

I follow the rabbit into the dark. I go to a place that holds my deepest fears and desires. The theatre of the mind, where visual experience is created in a symphony of electrical impulses and chemical reactions, and everything is as real as it is imaginary. Suspended in this borderland of reality and fantasy, I create my dreamscapes. Ephemeral tales that can only continue to exist through photographs.

Photography no longer only belongs in a world of reality. 'While analogue photography alludes to "having-been-there" digital photography questions if there ever was a "there" at all.'[2] As such it is a portal to the imagination, to a place that knows no boundaries of logic and reason, where everything is as real as we want it to be.

I cannot imagine a world without fantasy, a world with no escape and no need to believe in the fantastical and beautifully weird. I choose to indulge in the seduction of dreams and endless possibilities.

Are you such a dreamer?

...thoughts on a work in progress...

- Dida

[1] EWING, W.A (2006) Face The New Photographic Portrait, Thames and Hudson, New York, p. 214

[2] CHESS, S. (2003) Cyborg Children in Digital-Land, the Works of Simen Johan p.3

All Those Beautiful Shades of Grey

2008-05-07T20:57:00.000+10:00

First drafts of the new images from a shoot I did on Friday. Still more editing to do, but it's all coming together. A few weeks before final review this semester and so far I feel as if I'm in a pretty good place (amongst my usual strange and scary) with it all.

It was another cold one, but slightly overcast and a good night for it. Again, a big Thank You to my lovely and amazingly patient models. Together we had a very productive and magical night spent traveling in the borderland of reality and fiction. And these are some of the initial results.

I'm trying to bring out other characters besides just the bunnies, but as of now they are still the entry-point, or the guide into that other place. A couple of 'dragons' are in the making and things are still on the move. Final due date still not till late October or somewhere thereabouts.

For final review this semester I'm gonna have one or two resolved images printed and, hopefully, a deeper clarity around them. Next steps will be to do the final editing and selection, and determine what size they need to be and start proofing and testing.

I want to print on the large Epson 9800 so a decision about paper also needs to be made. So far I have done small tests on the Ilford Galerie Gold Fibre Silk and that seems to be working alright without struggling too much with color balance and luminosity. But my hope is that before I start final printing we will have gotten more Crane Silver Rag.

I haven't tested more than four different papers so far, but I can see how one would become a slight paper-nerd. :)

Still much more to do and strange places to go.

Until next time...

Have Spacesuit. Will Travel

2008-04-30T21:52:00.000+10:00

The First sketches of the other two images that came out of that saturday shoot a while back. I like the movement and the poses in the bottom one and the light in the top one. Still many changes to be made, but ideas need time to become refined.

btw, a thanks to norwegian band Motorpsycho for lyrics that make up most, but not all, of the headlines and excellent music to dream to

http://motorpsycho.fix.no/

When visions burn, they sometimes melt

2008-04-28T23:14:00.000+10:00

It's a week of creative chaos. Everything happening at once. Good things tend to be stressful.

Tomorrow we're opening a show (we as in me and two very talented and very lovely girls) and thursday is d-day for second review.

With so much going on it's hard to structure thoughts. The machinery never stops ticking, but at times it all becomes a big blur. Words describing this work, words describing other work... I find myself having a hard time breaking out of the dull academic writing of statements. It still feels like seeing color and capturing black and white.. in lack of better metaphors. Something tells me this weekend will pass in a sigh of sweet sleep. And shooting, and writing... and hopefully a few moments of absolute nothing.

Pretty much business as per usual then...

left is right is never wrong

2008-04-23T19:24:00.000+10:00

This is an initial sketch of one of the images from saturdays shoot. First off, Saturday was not a good day for this kind of stuff. It was freezing cold and wet and I consider myself lucky to have people who want to do this enough to put up with that and still come up with valuable input. :)

I was playing with the whole blue-red idea but I'm not sure this is the way I want to utilize it. The corner bunny's shirt is actually blue and not bright purple, but thanks to sRGB that's what I got for this version and frankly, I couldn't be bothered to put it back for a web sketch.

The sky in this one is a complete disaster. It's redish in the corner (closest to the city) and the rest looks like grayscale spew. Overall it was just too damn bright. ( And depending on the screen you're looking at it might look like all kinds of things.) Still I like the bunnies in it.

If I were to do it again on a similar night I would move the girl down into the front (and steal her carrot) so I could get a shot without sky. (And not step in thorn bushes or almost fall down.) All in all it's an ok try, but I'm still searching for that edge that the last ones had. The shirts just might have to come back off...

Are you such a dreamer

2008-04-23T11:32:00.000+10:00

This is an image I shot earlier this year around February sometime. I still really like this one; it’s got this calm to it as well as this uncanny feeling that there is someone else in the room watching. It exists in a borderland. It’s all one exposure and shot in a completely dark bedroom.

Not exactly in the manner of the new ones, but it’s still a darling.