Are you scared yet?

When it rains, it pours. How true. The past few months have been a rollercoaster in more ways than one. A race against time and money. With only a few more weeks to go a feeling of panic is rapidly descending upon me. So much to do, so little time and absolutely no money to do it with.

To add to the mix, I just got confirmation that I have a solo show at Bus Projects in Melbourne from the 19^th of January to the 5^th of February. I should be ecstatic. I should be jumping for joy. But I am terrified.  It will be the biggest thing I have ever tried to pull of as an artist. It will be my first ever solo show. It will cost a small fortune. It scares the bejesus out of me. Before that we have our final assessment for our honours degree the 16^th of November with a group show opening the following day. Stressed yet...?

The only thing I can do to keep from loosing my mind is keep working. I am looking for jobs every day to try and magically come up with the money, but so far it seems that a person with an arts degree just can’t find a job that doesn’t involve taking care of other peoples kids. Compared to trying to find a job like the ones I am applying for in Norway, it is ridiculous. Soon the Norwegian government will come knocking at my door with large bills to pay saying: So, you decided to become an artist and now you need to pay for it. Slam dunk. Check mate.

If I was religious I would probably be praying by now, but I’m not. As a non-religious, but yet spiritual person, I can only hope that some magical and mysterious force, event or fate, will pull me through.

Until then, there is much work to be done. I am hoping the rainy clouds I’m looking at will empty themselves and leave before nightfall so I can finally get some shooting done. I’ve finished making all my bunny outlines and an oversized costume; it’s all good to go. All I need now is a little luck with weather, light and model, and I’ll finally get some sleep.

So, when you don’t pray, I guess you just cross fingers.

x